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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27795229">To Anyone Who Might Care</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyssa_Alara/pseuds/Lyssa_Alara'>Lyssa_Alara</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>50 Months of Ship Prompts [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Violence, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Blood and Violence, Canon Non-Binary Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Depressed Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Depression, Hange Zoë &amp; Levi Are Best Friends, Hange Zoë Being Hange Zoë, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Levi Has PTSD (Shingeki no Kyojin), Multi, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Past Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), References to Depression, Scientist Hange Zoë, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags May Change, The Underground (Shingeki no Kyojin), They/Them Pronouns for Hange Zoë, be careful please and take care of yourself, please read the warnings in the tags, this series will get pretty dark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:08:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27795229</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyssa_Alara/pseuds/Lyssa_Alara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>2 times Levi fell asleep in Hanji's lap and the 1 time Hanji fell asleep in Levi's. Spoilers for those who aren't caught up to the anime at least.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi &amp; Hange Zoë, Levi &amp; Special Operations Squad | Squad Levi, Levi/Hange Zoë</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>50 Months of Ship Prompts [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>229</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashcan6060/gifts">Trashcan6060</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Now, I know 50 months is a long time. But, it's been a really shitty couple of years and I need something frequent and long enough to make the time between now and the future shorter. So if it's publishing a 10,000-20,000 word fic once a month for the next four and a half years, then so be it. </p><p>Feel free to check out my Tumblr account lyssa-alara</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite what others thought, Hanji knew from personal experience that Levi was an incredibly affectionate person. He never showed the soft side of him to anyone he didn’t trust – the list of people he did trust was stretched far and wide, but who could blame him? – but he was very close with the people he trusted, to the point where he would jump into a fight without hesitation, regardless of the odds stacked against them, just to protect the people he loves more than life itself.</p><p>His childhood had not been good (to say the least), from what Hanji had gathered from the snippets of stories he shared before he realised that he was talking about his nightmarish childhood and refused to speak for the rest of the night. They couldn’t blame him for not wanting to share anything about the shithole he used to call home – Hanji would feel the same if they were in his position, so they let him manage his trauma how he needed to.</p><p>After two years had passed since Levi joined the Survey Corps, Hanji could confidently say that they were one of his closest friends, if not his closest friend. They knew that the only other person he had felt close to was Erwin, and that there were certain times where he could not stand to be around the Commander of the Survey Corps for longer than necessary.</p><p>(Some long buried resentment for the blond man, maybe, but whatever the reason was, Hanji left him alone with it. It was fair that he had to have a breather from that man sometimes, seeing as he could be very intense and mission-focused a good majority of the time. Sometimes, it was just too much).</p><p>After hearing exactly what happened on Levi’s first expedition though, Hanji really couldn’t blame him for not being capable of being near Erwin around that time of the year, every year without fail. It was Levi’s way of distancing himself from Erwin, so he didn’t snap at him and risk damaging their sometimes-strained relationship. Hanji wasn’t happy about it, because it meant that he completely isolated himself on those days and not even Hanji was allowed to see him, but they knew it was for the best in the end. Because so long as Levi refused to talk to anyone about his trauma, then he would have to find ways to deal with it on his own.</p><p>Hanji wanted to help; they really did. They had done countless psych evaluations for soldiers to determine if they were fit to continue field work, so they knew what they were looking for in person. Levi ticked a lot of the boxes for severe PTSD (of what kind, Hanji didn’t know, since it could’ve been created from his first expedition or his childhood, or an incredibly traumatic combination of both), so Hanji tried to make sure that they didn’t cross him when he was in a foul mood.</p><p>Hanji knew they were one of the few people he trusted enough to completely relax around – be it when he took a shower while they waited in his room so they could get started on their joint paperwork session, when he let them wonder around his quarters and office without constantly keeping an eye on them like he would do for most others, or even when he fell asleep around them.</p><p>While the first two were common occurrences, the third was less likely to happen. Hanji knew they would have better luck trying to get a titan to do a handstand than get Levi to fall asleep let alone around someone else, so most of the time they just tried to make him as comfortable as possible so that at least he wasn’t dead on his feet when morning came.</p><p>Levi had the horrible habit of working himself into the ground on a regular basis, then when something bad happened that sent him spiralling, he would only bury himself in more work until the bags under his eyes were darker than his hair. Hanji hated when he did it, but he would always snarl at them whenever they expressed their concern, so they quickly learned not to bring it up if they wanted to be allowed anywhere near him when he was locked in one of the spirals. Hanji had been determined to try and help him instead of grill him for it, so they resigned themselves to slowly getting Levi to open up and learn to lean on them whenever he needed it.</p><p>Whenever Levi fell asleep around them, Hanji tried their very best to make it perfect for him; no noise, no interruptions, no work to wake up to. It became their unspoken rule that whenever the other finally fell asleep (Hanji barely ever slept themself, contrary to popular belief, because there was just <em>too much to learn about the titans!</em>), the other would make sure they were comfortable and that the area was silent for the light sleeper, and they would complete any remaining paperwork for their sleeping comrade.</p><p>The unspoken agreement had first started towards the end of two years being friends, and while it happened for Hanji more than it happened for Levi, Hanji was still happy to say that they had been presented the opportunity to help Levi, even if it was only slightly and very far between occurrences.</p><p> </p><p>The first time Levi had fallen asleep on them, Hanji had felt confused and flustered.</p><p>It had been a rough day; between a couple of MPs visiting the base they were currently residing in, with intentions of questioning some soldiers who had witnessed a bar fight-turned-stabbing on their off day, and the trip to Mitras that all the Squad Leaders and higher-ups had to attend, both Hanji and Levi were ready to drop dead on their feet.</p><p>There was nothing more inviting than a warm bed after a long day filled with asshole MPs, snobby nobles, and fanatic Wallists. Hanji knew that all too well, but they also knew that Levi was a lot less patient than they were, and his tolerance for people seemed to decrease with every person he talked to.</p><p>But before they could relax and go to bed, the two of them had to get through dinner. The dining hall was loud and filled with boisterous laughter. Levi desperately wanted to smash his head against the table, but that would raise concern from Erwin, and he didn’t need that right now. Plus, it would probably give him an even bigger headache and he didn’t want that at all.</p><p>He settled for grumbling his complaints and massaging his forehead; a vain attempt to alleviate the stabbing pain behind his eyes. His migraines were usually relatively easy to ignore, as most of the time they weren’t bad enough that his high pain tolerance couldn’t handle. But now, it felt like someone was stabbing his brain with a hot poker and repeatedly smashing his skull in with a blunt rock simultaneously.  </p><p>“Levi, are you okay?” Levi managed to drag his eyes open slowly and painfully, recognising that they wanted to do nothing but close once more. He could feel exhaustion deep in his bones and for the first time in years, Levi just wanted to sleep.</p><p>His eyes focused reluctantly on the source of the voice, and he made out Hanji’s figure in amongst the blurriness of his vision and the pounding headache lurking behind his eyes.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Levi cringed slightly with how absolutely <em>tired</em> his voice sounded. He didn’t mean for it to come out quite so… blunt. There was no point stressing over it, though, seeing as Hanji was already pretty insistent on the whole take-care-of-yourself routine that he had never quite been good at.</p><p>A frown marred Hanji’s face, and Levi had to physically bite his tongue to stop himself from telling them to smile because they looked nice when they smiled. What was wrong with him? Hanji did <em>not</em> look better when they smiled. Well, maybe they did, but Levi didn’t want to get into that series of thoughts anytime soon.</p><p>Hanji pressed their hand to his forehead quickly, gauging his temperature. He wasn’t too hot, like they expected, but rather was not hot enough to be normal. He was cold, and he looked out of it – that wasn’t usually a good sign for anyone, regardless of how strong they were. They dropped the hand resting against his forehead to grab his own resting in his lap, ignoring the curious looks from the people sitting around them. Hanji wasn’t holding his hands romantically, so there was no point to their curiosity.</p><p>His hands were like ice bricks. “Holy Sina, Levi, your hands are freezing!” They hissed to him, grabbing them both between theirs, trying to warm them up. They noticed that he was shivering slightly, and that his eyes were barely staying open. They were fluttering too much, like they were fighting a battle against a heavy weight and losing miserably. He looked utterly exhausted, and Hanji knew that he had been pushing himself to his very limit recently, and that he probably hadn’t had a decent night sleep since his childhood years on top of that.</p><p>“Come on, let’s get you in bed,” they whispered, using their grip on his hands to pull him to his feet. He stumbled slightly but managed to regain his balance and let them drag him towards his quarters. Hanji ignored the giggling, a slight blush covering their cheeks when they realised why the soldiers were giggling and pointing at the duo leaving the dining hall (who wouldn’t, though, when someone saw them dragging Humanity’s Strongest to the officer’s private quarters during dinner?). </p><p>The two walked in silence to his quarters, Hanji not saying a thing when Levi started leaning into them instead of walking beside them as he had been previously doing. When the two got to the door, Hanji waited for him to unlock it, but realised he was too tired to when he stood waiting beside them instead of moving to unlock the door like he usually would.</p><p>Sighing, they pulled the false skirting board off from the small space beside his door and picked out his spare key, using it to open the door to the dark quarters. Lighting the lamps sitting around the room, but only enough to provide light for them to see, Hanji blushed again when they realised how close they were to Levi.</p><p>The two were close enough for Hanji to be able to hear Levi’s rough and raspy breathing, and notice that his chest was rising and falling too rapidly to be considered normal. Something was wrong, and Hanji didn’t think it was the conventional sickness (Levi was too much of a germophobe, but there was a chance that because he wasn’t regularly exposed to germs, that his immune system would be weaker in addition to his life in the Underground City).</p><p>They turned to face Levi fully. He removed his arm clumsily from around their waist and started shuffling blearily towards the bed, before stopping short and letting out an almost inaudible groan. Hanji knew he just wanted to get in bed and go to sleep, but it was probably him realising he was still in the clothes he wore to Mitras. He was almost too predictable at this point.</p><p>A slight blush covered their cheeks when Levi ripped his shirt off (perhaps just a bit <em>too</em> hard) and aggressively unbuckled his belt, as if the thing had forsaken him. He ripped his pants off just as quickly, leaving him in only his underwear, before he collapsed in bed.</p><p>Hanji had to stop themselves from staring at all the scars that littered Levi’s body. From small scratches, to a stab wound, to what looked like cigar burns and nail marks clawed down his back, Levi had an array of injuries that Hanji desperately wanted to know about (morbid curiosity was, after all, Hanji’s specialty). However, them asking would probably only bring back bad memories and Hanji didn’t want to make Levi uncomfortable, so they restrained their curiosity as best they could.</p><p>Hanji stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, wondering whether they should leave him alone to sleep or do his paperwork for him like they usually did when he was too tired to do it himself. Levi groaned and mumbled into the bed, shuffling around to a different position.</p><p>He didn’t look any more comfortable in the new position than he did in the first, and Hanji wondered what was keeping him awake and restless when it was very clear he desperately wanted and needed to sleep. His body was making demands, and something was heavy enough on his mind that he was capable of ignoring what his body was demanding.</p><p>“Levi, what’s wrong?”</p><p>Another groan. Hanji knew Levi wasn’t a very talkative person, but even he was more vocal than this (most of the time).</p><p>“Levi.”</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>“<em>Levi</em>.”</p><p>He huffed and sat up from the bed, fixing Hanji with a stare that was more dead than usual. Hanji had noticed that he looked off today, but they had initially dismissed it as him being annoyed that he had to attend the meeting in Mitras (Mitras being near the Underground was probably what he hated so much, instead of hating Mitras itself, even if it was a trash hole brimming with MPs). Now, Hanji knew there was something more going on.</p><p>Levi had been less responsive, more distant, more irritated lately than Hanji had seen him in a long time. They tried to think back to what anyone could have done to make him act so unusual, but they came up blank. The only thing they could think of would be…</p><p>“Is it because it’s the week of your first expedition?” Hanji’s voice died off towards the end of the sentence, unsure if they had figured it out or if they were instead overstepping his boundaries. He didn’t say anything, but Hanji picked up on the way he tensed, and they knew they were right. It was because it was the anniversary of the death of his only family. Farlan and Isabel. The only people Hanji had ever seen him relax unconditionally around, and trust besides the small amount of trust he had placed in them.</p><p>Hanji had never seen Levi cry. They supposed that it was because he wasn’t used to showing emotion, a product of his time in the Underground, and that he never really had people he could trust enough to let himself be vulnerable enough to properly cry and mourn the people he had lost in his life.</p><p>But Hanji couldn’t delude themselves into thinking that there was something in Levi’s eye that was making it glassy and watery. He was very clearly on the edge of a cliff, and he was about to fall off if someone didn’t help him away from the edge. From their memory, the only real thing Levi had done to mourn the loss of his little sister and best friend was annihilate the abnormal titan. Hanji knew a thing or two about healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms, and they knew that ignoring it, drowning it in work or alcohol, or harming himself were all things they had suspicions about for a while now.</p><p>(Hanji had seen the scars along his thighs and hips; they were too thin and organised yet still sporadic to be an accident or something someone else inflicted on him unless they had him completely strapped down. They didn’t mention it, nor did they mention it when he came to them in the middle of the night, asking for bandages to wrap a bleeding wound on his forearm that didn’t look like it had been an accident. He had lifted his sleeve just enough to let Hanji see the few thin scars before he had ripped it down and curled in on himself. He hadn’t stayed around to get the bandages off Hanji).</p><p>They winced and scrambled to fill the now unbearable silence. Anything would do, it was too much for someone to deal with themselves, and Levi had not told a single soul how he was doing mentally, and if Hanji said they weren’t always concerned about his mental health, then they would be lying.  </p><p>They opened their mouth, preparing to say something about how everything would be okay. They instead closed their mouth, knowing that their words would only make it worse. Hanji didn’t know if everything would be okay. In the Survey Corps, the chances of everything being okay were too slim to even count for anything.</p><p>Hanji moved to the bed, taking their shoes off and taking off their Survey Corps jacket and glasses. The glasses were gently placed on the bedside table sitting next to the bed, and the candle was blown out.</p><p>Levi made a confused whine (something Hanji would’ve never thought she would hear from him), but Hanji ignored it and sat against the headboard of the bed, pulling him to lay between their legs with his head resting on their chest, so his ear would rest over their heart. They hoped that hearing their heartbeat would calm him down, and that he would immediately shove her away from him, because they only wanted to help him.</p><p>Hanji held their breath when he tensed up (coiled up, like he was getting ready to run or preparing himself for pain) but repressed their relief when he relaxed against them slightly.</p><p>“Nightmares.”</p><p>“Pardon?” Hanji knew what he had said, but it was so out of the blue and they were confused. What about nightmares? Was he talking about the visit to Mitras or something else?</p><p>“I can’t sleep. Too many nightmares. Can’t take it anymore. It’s all my fault.” Where was this coming from? “They died because of me and I couldn’t stop it.”</p><p>Was this what was keeping him up? He was reliving their deaths over and over, with the ideology that he was to blame stuck in his head? The self-blame would only make his grief worse, and Hanji had to calm him down enough for him to sleep.</p><p>“No, Levi, it isn’t your fault at all. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and there was nothing more you could have done.”</p><p>Levi looked like he was about to protest, but Hanji shushed him. They looked him in the eye. “It was <em>not</em> your fault.”</p><p>Hanji’s hand had found its way to the silky strands of Levi’s hair and they played with it gently, massaging his scalp in what they hoped to be a soothing manner. It seemed to be working if Levi’s even breathing was any indicator.</p><p>Hanji knew he didn’t believe their words. It would take him a long time before he could even start to forgive himself, but Hanji was prepared to wait for him. They would always wait for him, no matter how long it was before he finally let the guilty go – if he ever did.</p><p>Hanji would’ve liked to get some paperwork done while Levi was asleep, but they couldn’t bear the thought of moving and waking him up, so they resigned themselves to becoming a human pillow for the next couple of hours while Levi caught up on some much needed sleep.</p><p>And Hanji wouldn’t tell a soul about how the slightest blush painted his cheeks when he woke up in Hanji’s lap (settled comfortably between their legs) with his head against their chest. Not a single soul would ever know.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hanji hadn’t eaten dinner for the fifth time in two weeks. Levi was just about through with Hanji skipping meals for whatever stupid and dangerous experiment they were cooking up in the lab, subjecting their squad to the madness so much that, more than half the time, they came to Levi himself when they felt like their squad leader was pushing themselves too far.</p>
<p>He had decided that he was through with bringing them dinner, only for them to completely forget about it and end up collapsing when they completely exhausted their body. He marched to their lab to stuff food down their throat, determined to not let them bypass their body’s needs one more time.</p>
<p>The walk to their lab was quiet and uneventful, and Levi could stand to get down on his knees and thank the gods. He did not want to deal with any problems involving shitty teenagers with anger issues, swords, and fighting experience when he was near the end of his patience. That damned shitty glasses was decidedly going to be the end of Levi, and he knew that it was inevitable that they would bring that end upon him in the most painful way possible.</p>
<p>He walked into the lab as calmly as he could, past the curious members of Hanji’s squad who looked both relieved and terrified to see him, right to where Hanji was dancing around in front of a titan pinned to the ground, scribbling something frantically on a clipboard. The titan’s mouth was wide open and vaguely threatening, and the titan was struggling forward against the restraints with the clear intent of taking a bite out of Hanji.</p>
<p>Something about the scene unsettled Levi deeply, some deep buried instinct telling him that they shouldn’t be playing around with these creatures because it would be too easy for them to just squash him. There would be no fight if it were him without his 3DMG versus a titan higher than five metres, and that thought made his muscles coil as if they were waiting for an attack he couldn’t see.</p>
<p><em>Run</em>, his mind told him, <em>or you won’t get away in time.</em> Levi had long since learned how to bury his human instincts to flee to safety, but that didn’t mean they didn’t appear in his head whenever he was caught off guard or facing something that was beyond his ability to destroy. He didn’t have his 3DMG on right now, so if the titan were to break free somehow…</p>
<p>He snapped out of his straying thoughts and cleared his throat to get Hanji’s attention away from the titan and on to him. They spun around with a slightly concerning gleam in their eyes, and Levi groaned. He should’ve picked another time – like conveniently right after they had completed their experiments for the day – to come and give Hanji their food instead of when they were experimenting on a titan. He could almost guarantee that Hanji would do one of two things.</p>
<p>Either they would talk his ear off about titans for several hours, including a detailed break down and analysis of their research notes, the conclusions they drew from those research notes, and how the experiments were going in terms of achieving the results Hanji wanted to see.</p>
<p>Or they would insist that because he was conveniently present and free, Erwin would be fine with them increasing the difficulty and danger of the experiments because he was there to clean things up if anything went wrong. The absolute worst-case scenario was they did both.</p>
<p>“Levi!”</p>
<p>Hanji ran over to him and dropped the clipboard down on their temporary desk along the way, stopping short just in front of him. They eyed the food he had brought for them and his frustrated look, realising that they had probably missed dinner again, despite promising him multiple times that they would eat on their own accord for the first time in two weeks. Hanji felt slightly guilty about making him worry so much, but they couldn’t resist feeling slightly happy when he brought them food because he cared about them (regardless of what he said, because he was a dirty liar when it came to caring about people).</p>
<p>They decided that it was probably in their best interest to acknowledge their mistake instead of trying to play it off like they would usually do to save their ass. He would most likely smack them if they tried to pull that one more time.  </p>
<p>“Ah, I forgot about dinner again, didn’t I?” At Levi’s sharp nod, Hanji softly apologised and took the food from him gently, placing it on the desk beside them and quickly slipping a chunk of bread in their mouth to ensure he wouldn’t smite them for immediately putting the food down instead of eating it.</p>
<p>“I’ll eat it after I wrap this up,” they promised, rolling their eyes at Levi’s huff of annoyance. They knew it was because of the way this situation was becoming increasingly more frequent as they progressed with their experiments. They knew Levi was just worried for them, though, so that was reassuring. At least he wouldn’t straight up kill them and would probably instead force feed them to ensure they wouldn’t starve to death.</p>
<p>“The last time you said that Four eyes, you ended up ‘wrapping up your experiments’ four hours after I brought you the food and by then it was long cold.” It was true, but Hanji had just caught sight of the results that they had been looking for, and then there was no way they could’ve been stopped by anyone after that. They never would’ve thought that they were even close to being correct about titans behaving in different ways according to the amount of sunlight they were exposed to, but they were and they would be forever grateful that they had discovered it, with how many expeditions it had helped them reduce the death toll on.</p>
<p>They laughed lightly. “Okay, okay. Let me finish this section of my observation period and then I’ll eat.” Levi gave them a dangerous look (or about as dangerous as he could look when Hanji knew that he would never hurt them) but backed down regardless, choosing to lean back against the desk where their food was resting in a clear warning that he would ensure they followed through with their promise. He usually didn’t, but he was probably learning from his mistakes at this point.</p>
<p>Hanji laughed softly and ordered her squad to continue on with the experiment for the last 20 minutes. They nodded and immediately hurried back into the swing of the experiment, an aspect of their squad which Hanji would be eternally grateful for having the honour of commanding.</p>
<p>They never thought they would ever have a squad who would eagerly help them with their experiments and discover things about titans that no one ever knew before them. Most people just assumed that they weren’t right in the head and dismissed whatever ideas they proposed immediately, but that was never the case with their squad unless their ideas were clearly too dangerous to carry out.</p>
<p>They wandered closer to the titan once more, wanting to see if the titan had moved to provide an easier and less risky way to look into its mouth. If Hanji could get a look at the titans mouth and see if there was any indicator of what was beyond its mouth without being eaten, they could then use that information to figure out why the titans ate humans in the first place instead of eating any of the animals that they knew were always grazing on the plains beyond the walls.</p>
<p>The titan jerked violently in their direction; eyes focused on Hanji’s form hungrily as its body strained against the restraints that tethered it to the ground. It was hungry, but why? If Hanji could figure that one thing out, then maybe they would be able to come up with some sort of cloaking method to hide a small group of people from the titans in plain sight while out beyond the walls. Or instead perhaps something to offer them to distract them from a small group of scouts, if they would take anything other than human flesh.</p>
<p>If Hanji could also figure out how the titans were able to track them in the first place, then they would – theoretically – also be able to come up with a way to more effectively dodge titans completely while out on expeditions to minimise the risks and death toll of the Survey Corps, while also increasing the success rates of missions.</p>
<p>If they could just figure out exactly how the titans functioned, then they would be able to save thousands of people from the gruesome fate of being torn apart and devoured, while also contributing more to humanity than any scientist ever had before. They would be able to say that they were a proper, accomplished scientist who helped in defeating the titans, and not just another soldier who threw their life away in a meaningless fight against creatures who were able to easily defeat them without their gear.  </p>
<p>Did they have a superior sense of sight? Hanji knew that wasn’t entirely reasonable, considering that titans – theoretically – didn’t know for sure that there were humans behind the walls due to their concluded lack of intelligence (or at least, the intelligence that would be found in humans to deduct that humans were behind the wall was severely lacking in titans, with their inability to speak or create things like tools and fire). However, it could just be that they had seen and remembered seeing humans come out from the walls and return behind the walls on a frequent enough basis that they crowded the walls whenever they got too close.</p>
<p>Or maybe they were just illiterate and dumb, but they had the capabilities of committing things like what they saw on a frequent basis to memory? Hanji would probably have to test that somehow, to see if that would pose a problem in the future for the Survey Corps when entering and exiting the walls, and possibly the other regiments if they were seen by the titans on top of the wall.</p>
<p>Did the titans instead have a developed sense of smell that allowed them to track humans? If they did, Hanji would have to test how they reacted to humans in comparison to animals, and how they reacted to individual humans versus a small population of humans to find if there was any common factor or if it were completely random, and if the density of population had any effect on their sense of smell.</p>
<p>The test would probably have to include putting a blindfold on the titans and possibly even earplugs to completely deprive them of their sight and sound senses to ensure they were only using their noses in the timeframe Hanji tested them, which they would most likely require Levi’s assistance for Erwin to even thing of approving.</p>
<p>Maybe they were reacting violently and instantaneously to sounds? It could work similarly to how some animals like deer were hypersensitive to sounds to ensure they would be able to hear the approach of a predator and give them enough time to run away. In that case, maybe it worked more like other animals who used their ears to detect minute sounds which would lead them to their prey? Hanji would have to test how far they could hear and detect prey, as well as what sounds would have to be made to catch the attention of the titan.</p>
<p>Could they have been using a non-verbal method of communication the whole time that scouts had been going out beyond the walls, completely unaware to the severe disadvantage they had been put at and would remain at until someone finally figured out how they were constantly being tracked by the titans? Maybe it was like a form of echolocation that marine animals had supposedly used before the walls were constructed and waterways weren’t limited to large lakes and small to medium sized dams?</p>
<p>Testing that theory would prove to be much harder, Hanji realised, since to accurately test it, they would most likely have to either go beyond the wall and test it in small groups (which Erwin would never allow), or they would have to find a space large enough to accurately test the range of the titan’s senses without endangering anyone from nearby villages and limiting the space in which Hanji had to experiment.</p>
<p>That was a lot easier said than done, especially without the knowledge of what they were testing to aid them in hiding from the titans long enough to get results decent enough to analyse. Which wasn’t saying much because it already sounded like a lot of work. Hanji almost regretted digging themselves the rabbit hole that they were about to fall down, but how anyone could regret science and knowledge was a mystery to Hanji.</p>
<p>Maybe the titans had a mix of all three? They clearly used their eyes to spot prey, as Hanji had seen many times when the titans had stared them dead in the eyes, a hunger so primal and instinctive gleaming in their irises in a way that would’ve scared Hanji had it not fascinated them as much as it did.</p>
<p>Besides that, Hanji had heard many horror stories from scouts who had nearly been eaten that the titans always seemed to look at their prey almost as if they were evaluating them to see if they were decent enough to eat, or if they were to be crushed in the titan’s hand instead.</p>
<p>In that case, Hanji would have to test which one was more effective if it was a mixture of two or more and how they could deprive the titans of those senses quickly and easily enough that they could do so out on the field with little time, effort and resources spent.</p>
<p>It would either have to be some sort of method to hide a small group of scouts from the titans and their superior sense or sense, or something that would deprive the titans of said senses. Maybe some sort of covering, which would deprive them of sight and possibly smell, or some sort of device the released frequencies that were high enough so that only people with superior hearing to the average person and titans would be able to hear it and be harmed by it.</p>
<p>Hanji had been so lost in thought that their eyes had completely skimmed over the nail that was slowly dislodging itself from the ground under the force of the titan yanking it out. Had they have noticed, they would’ve immediately called attention to it and together with their squad and maybe even Levi himself, they would’ve secured the titan and avoided such a mess of a situation if the titan escaped.</p>
<p>But Hanji hadn’t noticed the loose nail. The titan gave one last jerk towards Hanji, who was walking around in front of its head, and ripped free of its restraints, causing their squad members to shout out in shock and surprise, which quickly morphed into horror when the titan grabbed Hanji in its fist.</p>
<p>It was a surprisingly fast titan, Hanji realised as they yelled and struggled to get out of its clenched fist. It squeezed and Hanji felt the breath leave their lungs and their ribs protest against the force crushing them. They looked into the titan’s eyes and it quickly brought its hand to its mouth and shoved Hanji in, bringing its teeth down as soon as Hanji was in its jaw enough to be bitten clean in half.</p>
<p>They felt themselves scream in alarm, only just realising what was happening and what the outcome of this situation would be – their death. The teeth came down. Hanji had known, like most of the soldiers who joined the Survey Corps, that there would only be two ways in which they would die. It would either be a freak accident or something completely unpredictable, like organ failures or falling off a building or faulty 3DMG, or it would be in a titan’s mouth or beneath its foot.</p>
<p>Although Hanji had known this, being faced with their death in the mouth of a titan was still terrifying. Seeing the teeth close and block the light and knowing that there was no way that anyone ever stood a chance against something as big and powerful as a titan was something Hanji was glad they would only experience once in their life. But that once would also mark the end of their life, regardless of how short it had been, or how long it had been compared to the thousands of scouts how had died at the mercy of titans for decades before them.</p>
<p>At the last second, a hand wrapped around Hanji’s ankle and jerked them out of the titan’s mouth with such force that Hanji was cleared of the titan’s teeth before they could come down on their torso and separate everything below their waist from the top half of their body.</p>
<p>They were covered in saliva and laying on top of a distinctly human body – upon further inspection, that body belonged to Levi, who had been the one to literally drag them out of a titan’s mouth. Of course, since he was the only one who would be able to react fast enough to get Hanji out of the titan’s mouth before they were eaten, it was him that rescued Hanji. It only ever seemed to be them owing Levi favours in their strange relationship.</p>
<p>The titan roared and pushed forward, the jaws snapping at Hanji and Levi’s feet causing them to desperately scramble backwards in order to not have their quite useful legs taken off in an excruciating way.</p>
<p>“Hanji, move!” Levi screamed, shoving them away from the titan’s mouth and barely making it out of danger himself. The titan had refocused its attention of him and was grasping for him and trying to shove him into its mouth. Levi was screaming for someone to <em>do something</em> because he could only hold it for so long and <em>this isn’t how he wanted to die, </em>but no one was moving, still to shocked and horrified to decide what to do instead of flutter around like they were trying to do a thousand things at once<em>.</em></p>
<p>Hanji ripped a fresh blade out of their 3DMG and leaped over its shoulder to the nape of its neck and brought the blade down as quickly and heavily as they could. Again, and again they brought it down until the titan collapsed completely and its nape started steaming in the tell-tale sign that the titan wouldn’t get back up again.</p>
<p>Well, there went one of Hanji’s testing subjects, and their window to experiment on any titans for the next couple of months until the next big mission. And it was seeming to get more and more unlikely that Erwin would let Hanji recapture another titan to continue experimenting if things kept going wrong for them.  </p>
<p>They peered around the titan’s head of messy hair and saw Levi breathing heavily on the floor, with the titan’s fist wrapped around him in a death grip right in front of it. His eyes were wide and fixed on the titan’s face with an unmatched intensity, no doubt watching carefully for any signs that the titan would get up and start trying to eat him again.</p>
<p>Hanji jumped down from the titan’s neck, ignoring the screams of their squad asking if they were alright or injured, and stumbled their way over to where Levi was still sitting on the floor. He tensed when they touched his shoulder despite it being so light that Hanji could barely feel the fabric of his shirt, but that was to be expected when he was literally wrapped in a titan’s hand and less than a metre away from what very well would have been his death. They helped him to untangle himself from the titan’s fingers and then pulled him into a hug.</p>
<p>“Thank you for saving me.”</p>
<p>They couldn’t recall exactly how terrifying that experience had been, but it would definitely ensure that Hanji would remain much more aware and vigilant than they ever had been from now on, seeing as the whole incident could’ve happened when Levi wasn’t there to save them.</p>
<p>If Levi had left straight after he brought them their food…</p>
<p>“You know that this means I’m not leaving the lab until you do, right?” Levi whispered back, his voice more detached and colder than it usually was when he was talking to Hanji. Hanji felt their worry for him spike immediately, but they pushed it down and nodded. They would be able to talk to him about it and try to help him work through it later, but for now, they would settle with letting him keep an eye on Hanji while they worked.</p>
<p>If it helped him to relax knowing that he had saved them, and that they were still alive, then Hanji would let him hang around. They knew it would give him a small amount of comfort just to see Hanji moving around and generally being alive.</p>
<p>They cleaned up the area and sat down to eat the food Levi had brought, just like they promised they would, and they were relieved to know that Levi was slightly more relaxed than he was before. Their appetite had vanished from when they were starving earlier, but Hanji forced themself to eat just so they had some food in them at least, and also because they had promised Levi they would eat and Hanji was many things, but someone who breaks their promises was not one of them.</p>
<p>After the break, Hanji worked with their squad and Levi to remove the titan from their lab and clean up the mess it had left behind when it broke free. They would have to let Erwin know of the incident eventually, but at this point they were too tired and drained from what happened to focus properly.</p>
<p>“Listen, I’m gonna head off to bed now. I’ll fill out a report tomorrow morning, but I’m really tired right now.” Hanji hoped her squad would take the hint to get some rest for themselves, because they knew how hardworking their squad was and they deserved the rest.</p>
<p>Hanji nodded goodnight to their squad and started the long walk to their quarters. Behind them, Levi followed silently and protectively. When the pair arrived at Hanji’s quarters, they opened the door and Hanji immediately dashed for the shower room, leaving Levi to stand awkwardly in the middle of their quarters.</p>
<p>Hanji felt disgusting, being covered in titan slime and saliva, and allowed their thoughts to take over their mind as the hot water rushed down their back. Maybe they could understand where Levi was coming from with his obsession for cleanliness if he came from a place where he was always covered with filth since the day he had been born. Inescapable filth and disease would be enough to make even Hanji – with their constant need to experiment and find out more regardless of if it would make a mess of them – obsessive about being clean.</p>
<p>They knew from Levi’s stories (or at least the stories he would tell them) that you could never really be clean in the underground. You were always trapped in the filth and disease, breathing in the stale air that had already been breathed in a thousand times, wondering if the underground would be all they ever knew. Wondering if they would die under the feet of people who threw away their wealth so carelessly without any regard to those dying like rats under their feet.</p>
<p>Levi had a very short temper when it came to dealing with the nobility within Wall Sina, and Hanji honestly couldn’t blame him. His childhood was – from what Hanji could conclude – highly traumatic and Levi was dealing with it in an incredibly unhealthy, but less destructive way than he could be.</p>
<p>Deciding that they had enough time to be trapped in their thoughts about cleanliness, Hanji turned off the hot water and stepped out of the cramped shower, drying themself off and putting on a loose white button-up which served as their sleep wear.</p>
<p>They heard Levi huff, mumbling something about being unclean and getting their bed dirty, before the door to their bathroom closed with a soft click and Hanji heard the water start up again. Their eyes fluttered shut and they snuggled into their pillow, breathing in the smell that was almost cool and inviting against their warm skin. They must have been dozing, for the next minute, Hanji felt a weight make the bed dip beside them.</p>
<p>Hanji forwent peeling their eyes open and instead just turned over to lay on their back, spreading their legs slightly to allow Levi room to lay across them, slotted snuggly between their legs. While they had laid together like this before and it was more of a platonic snuggle than a sexual one, it never failed to make Hanji blush like a maiden.</p>
<p>It was just that Levi was <em>so close</em>, and Hanji would have to be blind not to notice how… attractive Levi was. For the most part, they tried to ignore the part of their brain that seemed to still be stuck in their horny teenage years, and it worked most of the time. But with times like this one, it seemed that all logic went out the window whenever Levi was so close that Hanji could smell the lavender on him from the soap he used.</p>
<p>Levi tightened the arms that were wound around their waist, mumbling something in a voice that was laced with exhaustion. Hanji felt bad for all the trouble they had caused earlier, but if it managed to get them in this position, then maybe they should seriously consider nearly getting eaten by a titan more often.</p>
<p>“I can hear you thinking. Stop it and get some sleep.”</p>
<p>Hanji chuckled softly, their eyes drooping shut once more, and a warm feeling wrapped itself around them. The thought of spending the rest of their life like this, wrapped in Levi’s arms with nothing but love and affection and protection, popped into Hanji’s head and sent them into another round of blushing. The thought was random but not unwelcome, which was what flustered Hanji the most.</p>
<p>Whatever it was, they could think about it another time. For now, Hanji was bone-tired and definitely needed to get some sleep if they were going to be even remotely prepared for the verbal lashing they were going to received from the blond commander.</p>
<p>They pressed a feather-light kiss to Levi’s forehead, murmuring a soft goodnight, before their eyes slipped shut once more and their dreams overtook them. Their heart hammered in their chest from the realisation of what they had just done, but their mind was too foggy to really think about anything other than a simple recap of the event.</p>
<p>Had they opened their eyes one final time, Hanji would have been able to see the small smile that graced Levi’s lips and the light blush that dusted his cheeks, despite his eyes being firmly shut.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hanji thought that the expedition was going quite well so far, except for the fact that a record of five abnormals had broken through the formation Erwin had specifically devised to avoid being overwhelmed by abnormals and titans alike, and more titans were following in the path of destruction they had left. So overall, the expedition was going terribly.</p><p>Erwin had ordered the Special Operations Squad to fan out and take out the smaller titans that were harassing the supply carts while Levi engaged the abnormals just enough to distract them, until the rest of his squad could join him and take out the five abnormals together. Erwin knew Levi was strong, but even he had his limits and Erwin sensibly hadn’t wanted to test those limits in such a dangerous situation. Hanji would commend him if they didn’t think the decision was such an obvious one. </p><p>Hanji had last seen the Special Operations Squad racing over from the centre of the formation to deal with the five abnormals and any titans that the squads on the outside of the formation struggled with.  </p><p>From their position guarding the supply wagons with their squad, Hanji could see Levi racing towards the rampaging abnormals, looking calmer than even he should be for someone on an expedition outside the walls were the death rates were higher than the amount of people in the whole of Wall Sina. Also, the fact that he was racing towards not one, but five abnormal titans who were all significantly larger than the normal titans Levi faced in the dozens, was slightly concerning. Only slightly, though.  </p><p>Hanji watched as the Special Ops Squad made contact with the smaller titans, quickly disposing of them, and then moving on to the five abnormals, splitting into groups to deal with them. From what they could see, Eld and Gunther both were dealing with an abnormal each, Petra and Oluo were sharing the larger third abnormal titan and Levi was taking on the remaining two himself.</p><p>
  <em>If the idiot gets himself killed…</em>
</p><p>Hanji didn’t want to keep watching the Captain swinging in between the two titans like he was born to do nothing more, but they couldn’t take their eyes off him. It was mesmerising, watching him casually take on two abnormal titans with such grace, but Hanji also couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to him and they couldn’t save him in time because they didn’t see him falter. It was unlikely, but even the strongest had their moments of weakness.</p><p>The titan Eld was fighting dropped to the ground in a steaming heap after making a vein attempt to swat Eld out of the sky several times. Eld flew over to where Gunther was struggling to kill the titan he was fighting without getting in the way of Petra and Oluo, who were struggling to take down the largest (and what seemed to be the fastest as well, if the way Petra and Oluo were barely keeping one step ahead was to be trusted) abnormal of the group.</p><p>Hanji turned their eyes to Levi once more, who was bouncing between the two abnormals seamlessly. The grace displayed in each and every one of his movements was respectable and Hanji felt a small smile appear on their face.</p><p>He would be fine, and Hanji mentally scolded themselves for being so worried over him. He was Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, and Hanji was pretty sure he had been genetically modified in some far-away lab to be the perfect super soldier (they didn’t seriously think that, but Hanji had some ideas that involved selective breeding and various other things that could lead to the beast of a man Levi was). </p><p>Then everything went wrong. Hanji saw the second titan lose interest in Levi, instead turning around and focusing its attention on Eld, who was helping Gunther lure the abnormal away from Petra and Oluo’s abnormal titan.</p><p>The abnormal started running and reached its hand out, bony fingers rapidly enclosing around Eld’s body – the man himself was frozen in shock the moment he felt the sun’s warmth disappear and the titan’s fingers appear over his head.</p><p>Hanji felt shock overcome themself when it happened. Eld was the second in command of the Special Operations Squad, and the titan was about to squash him like a bug. Hanji knew that in the Survey Corps, you were more likely to die than get a promotion – everyone in the Corps knew that. But Hanji couldn’t help but feel like they were transported back to their first ever expedition. The hopelessness felt overwhelming, when faced with the fact that even the best, most trained and disciplined soldiers could easily be crushed by a single titan.</p><p>“Eld, look out!”</p><p>Hanji heard Levi scream for Eld to <em>move</em> <em>his ass</em>, but they were too focused on watching the Special Ops Squad fall apart under the pressure of five abnormal titans. First, Petra stumbled slightly mid-air when she heard the desperate cry for Eld to get to safety, and aimed her 3DMG badly, causing her grapple hook completely missed the abnormal’s shoulder and she went send her spiralling down to the ground.    </p><p>Oluo shouted for Petra, before completely disengaging his 3DMG and dropping like a stone in a pond, barely managing to catch the flailing Petra before she hit the ground and was crushed under the abnormal’s foot.</p><p>Gunther’s attention was split between the abnormal about to grab Eld, the abnormal that he was trying to lead away from the group and the abnormal that was now trying to either crush Petra and Oluo or pick them up.</p><p>His divided attention led to the abnormal he was fighting to have the perfect opportunity to reach out and nearly swat him violently into the ground, forcing him to dodge and use his gear to swing around to its back side where he could slice its nape.</p><p>Eld watched in horror as, one by one, his companions – his brothers and sister in arms – flailed and was nearly killed because of the distraction he caused. He was going to be eaten he knew, but Eld also knew that he would feel immensely guilty if his death also brought the death of his companions. So, he closed his eyes and pictured his fiancée, wanting his last thoughts to be of her and the fresh cookies she always baked when he was granted leave after returning from an expedition outside the walls.</p><p>
  <em>I don’t want to die.</em>
</p><p>The thought was unwelcome, because Eld knew it was his duty to die if his Commander ordered it, and this was something that he would have to take. There would be no way out, no second chance, no do over. This was it, his final moments. He wondered idly if he would’ve ever gotten to marry the woman he loved in another life, if he would’ve ever held his child, or seen them off to school or walked them down the aisle themselves in the future. </p><p>He felt something collide with him and fear shot through him faster than a wildfire on a windy day. He was going to die. But he heard a grunt, and a scream, and the whistle of air as the titan’s hand as it flew past him, only to collide with something else with a slap.</p><p>Eld was send crashing to the ground, managing only to catch himself at the last second and save himself from hitting the ground at a speed that would have either killed him on impact or shattered every single bone in his body.</p><p>His eyes immediately scanned the area he was just in and he felt absolute terror run down his spine as he watched Captain Levi barely dodge a titan’s hand swatting at him like he was nothing more than a fly. (the hand collided with the other titan with the same slapping sound, so Eld gathered that Levi had pushed him out of the way of the titan’s hand, but the titan slapped the one he had been fighting). He was surrounded by three abnormal titans, with the one Eld had killed laying a few metres from where he was currently sitting on the ground and the one that Petra and Oluo had fought still relentlessly trying to squish them.</p><p>Eld tried to locate Gunther and could barely manage to catch him trying to decide between saving Petra and Oluo from their struggle to get above the abnormal so they could get back on their feet, or kill the titan that was trying to crush them beneath its feet.</p><p>He turned back to where Captain Levi was and felt the air leave his body when he saw the Captain struggling. Even someone as skilled and invulnerable as the Captain could be caught off guard, apparently, when the lives of his squad were just put into question all at the same time and he could do nothing except for continue fighting the titans they left behind.</p><p>A growing sense of looming doom planted itself in Eld’s gut and he nearly felt sick with anxiety. Something was about to go horribly wrong, he knew, and Eld had learned that when you were outside the safety of the walls, it was better to trust your gut and be overprepared than it was to ignore your gut and be underprepared.</p><p>One of the titans fell from somewhere to Eld’s right and he heard the sound of 3DMG before he felt the warmth of someone’s hand resting on his shoulder. Gunther helped the blond man up and followed his eyes, his own anxiety over the situation evident in the lines of his face.</p><p>Petra and Oluo landed beside Gunther and Petra immediately dropped down in front of Eld to examine his leg and give the most basic and primitive of first aid she could manage.</p><p>“Something’s wrong,” Eld spoke first.</p><p>Gunther nodded silently, only the twitch of his fingers giving away his desperation to jump into the fight. His leg felt like someone had rammed an iron rod in his knee, so he knew he would probably have to ride back behind the walls in the medical cart unless he wanted to have his leg taken off when it got infected beyond the most skilled doctor’s skill set.</p><p>“Even he can’t fight and take down that many abnormal titans without at least <em>some</em> assistance.” Eld had never seen Oluo act so serious and drop the imitation of Captain Levi entirely, thinking back to every expedition where he had still managed to somehow copy the stoic and commanding personality of their Captain in amongst fighting giant man-eating beings.</p><p>Eld grunted when his leg sent waves of agony around his body and turned his face to the group of abnormal titans trying to kill his Captain. They were failing, so far, but Eld could still feel the looming sense of doom curled deep in his stomach, so he had decided not to risk it and just help his Captain before they became too much to handle.</p><p>Eld had spoken not a moment too soon, when one of the titans abruptly changing the direction it launched itself in, to instead lunge with its mouth on path to the exact position Captain Levi was in. He barely managed to dodge the tian’s jaws closing around him by throwing himself to the left, but he was given no time to dodge a different titan’s hand coming up and slapping him out of the sky.</p><p>Levi was sent crashing into another titan, brutally hitting the titan’s chest, and dropping to the ground like a sack of bricks (he could feel the shock coming from every scout who had just witnessed the great Captain Levi be bested by a titan – he himself was having a hard time remembering that this was real and it wasn’t some sort of twisted nightmare designed to make him lose faith in humanity). The third titan tried to catch him and instead bumped him with its fist, sending his sprawling into the ground. He connected with the ground in a sickening crunch that made Petra scream and Oluo shout hysterically, tumbling a fair distance away from the three abnormals due to the force of the blow and coming to a halt in a patch of grass.</p><p>From what Eld could see, the Captain was covered in blood, which was coating the grass around him and soaking into the dirt and staining his cape a dark green. He waited a second, and then another, for his Captain to stand up and pull off the impossible, because Captain Levi <em>was</em> the impossible. But he remained motionlessly crumpled on the grass.</p><p>Eld could hear screams as people watched the indestructible Captain Levi lose his fight against three abnormal titans. From where he was laying completely still on the ground, the man didn’t get back up. Even as the titans all dashed towards his crumpled body like they were being fed after starving for a thousand years, he didn’t move.</p><p>Eld screamed for his squad to abandon him and go save their Captain, but they were much to frazzled and panicked to be of much use to anyone, let alone their Captain. They were flailing, and it made Eld realise how much the Survey Corps had come to imagine Captain Levi as the indestructible pillar of hope who could protect them all whenever he was around them in a time of need. They had forgotten that Levi, too, was human and that he had his limits despite his unnatural abilities.</p><p>One of the titans picked Levi’s limp body off the ground and lifted him above its head, using its other hand to push the other two titans away from its prey. Levi dangled above the titan’s mouth, drifting in between consciousness and unconsciousness; pain and oblivion.</p><p>He heard screaming and one of the titans snatched Levi’s limp body off the ground and lifted him high above its head and dangle his body over its mouth, using its other hand to push the other two titans away from its prey. Levi dangled above the titan’s mouth uselessly, drifting in and out of painful consciousness and blissful oblivion.</p><p>Desperate and terrified screams rang in his ears and he forced his eyes open as a natural response, feeling very confused and disoriented. He saw the titan’s teeth and bloodthirsty eyes through blurry and unfocused eyes before he saw anything else, and then he was falling down, towards the teeth that were waiting to snap around him and crush his body in between them and kill him in the most painful and dehumanising way possible.</p><p>He flailed his arms around uselessly as panic overwhelmed him in pounding waves, a panicked terrified scream ripping itself free of his lungs against his will, followed closely by a sob. He was trying desperately to figure out what was wrong with his 3DMG and <em>why wouldn’t it work, I don’t want to die, not like this, not like– </em></p><p>The teeth were about to close around him, when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a strong force knock his body off of the direct pathway to out from inside the titan’s mouth. Pain splintered through his body like nothing he had ever felt before, making itself known in his shattered ribs and the way he couldn’t breath and <em>what was that falling down his face?</em></p><p>(Some part of him knew it was tears – from pain or fear he didn’t know – but the idea that maybe it was blood popped into his head without any explanation or reasoning).  </p><p>All the air left his lungs and black consumed his vision, a piercing whistle and the rapid thud of his heart overtaking his hearing and echoing through his brain. , strong enough to drown out everything except the monumental pain he was experiencing. When he drifted briefly back to consciousness, he was lying sprawled in the grass with Hanji leaning over him and frantically performing basic (and useless) first aid, looking like they were screaming something to him. Not that Levi would know for sure, since his hearing was yet to return to normal, and he probably wouldn’t have been able to focus on their words through the pain.</p><p>Pain splintered around every part of his body and Levi felt his consciousness slipping away from him again, and this time, he let it get away.</p><p> </p><p>When he woke up, all Levi could feel was pain. The smell of alcohol and antiseptic was strong and the sheets beneath him were rough and uncomfortable in a way only the medical wing back at headquarters could achieve.</p><p>Levi hated the medical wing with a passion, for the small amount of time he had been there. For one, when he had come back from his first expedition. Erwin had wanted to check to see if there were any side effects of his rampage on the abnormal titan, mentioning something about seeing if there was anything different about him after he had unleashed such brutal and immense strength and control over his abilities (his emotions, less so).</p><p>The second time had been when he had been training in the forest with his squad, working with their 3DMG to improve their teamwork and mid-battle communication and cooperation, when Oluo had aimed a shot directly in front of where Levi was swinging. Levi had seen it happen, but was in the wrong position to aim and rechange his direction, so he had severed his 3DMG cords and dropped to the forest floor avoid the lines slicing either of them open and possibly even severing a limb or two. He had crashed into a tree before tumbling down to the ground, forcing himself to breathe through the pain as he analysed his cracked ribs. Hanji had to sew him together in several places, and they had scolded him for days after the incident.</p><p>(His protests about him only doing it to protect Oluo had been completely dismissed, much to Levi’s chagrin).</p><p>The third time had been when he got into a fight with an MP who had tried to attack Hanji, and he ended up with a stab wound in his thigh when the officer realised he was up against an absolutely furious Captain Levi, and had resulted to trying to end the fight prematurely. Levi had near killed the man with how many times he punched him with his full weight, before Mike and Erwin had managed to drag him off of the officer.</p><p>(Levi still didn’t regret it to this day).</p><p>He was brought back to the present when he felt something warm in his hand, and after he managed to peel his eyes open (despite how much they wanted to close them once more to block out the light that felt like a stabbing pain to his sensitive eyes), he found out that it was a hand. The hand was warm and soft, and Levi was thoroughly surprised to find out it was Hanji’s hand in his (regardless of what anyone else said, Levi did <em>not </em>blush when he realised it belonged to Hanji, thank you very much).</p><p>He squeezed their hand gently after he calmed himself, attempting to let them know he was awake without hurting himself too much by speaking when it felt like someone had scraped a rock against his voice box. And that his ribs where shattered in his chest and ripping his internal organs into shreds. The scary thought was that the latter was actually very much a possibility, seeing as what happened could result in something from a few broken bones to a collapsed lung or two.</p><p>Levi sincerely hoped that he didn’t have to deal with a collapsed lung this time around.</p><p>Levi noticed that it was completely dark outside the window in the medical wing, meaning that it was most likely a good couple of hours after they had arrived home from the expedition and him passing out on their way back to the walls. Meaning he had been unconscious for those hours in addition to the hours that they were outside the wall, after the incident happened, so it was most definite that word had gotten around about the great Captain Levi being injured by a titan.</p><p>Had he not been in so much pain, Levi may have been slightly embarrassed about his injuries, but he knew that it was completely irrational to be so. After all, he had gotten injured to protect his squad, the people he cared deeply about, and he knew that he would do it again in a heartbeat. They meant too much to him – <em>they were too young</em>, barely had the opportunities to explore the world and find out who they were – to die and Levi knew that he would damn well try his hardest to make sure that he never had to bury their bodies and visit their graves.</p><p>He didn’t know if he would be able to handle burying them, not like he buried Isabel and Furlan. Once was too many times, but <em>twice</em>? With people who meant just as much to him as his best friend and little sister did? Levi shook his head slightly to refocus on the tired face sitting calmly in the chair dragged over to the side of his bed.</p><p>Now was not the time for depressing thoughts which would most definitely result in him having terrifying nightmares of pain and grief for the next couple of weeks. Hanji was in front of him, focus on Hanji. “What are you doing here so late?”</p><p>Maybe he should have phrased the question slightly different because that was way more accusing than he mean for it to be, but he couldn’t take it back now. Thankfully, Hanji didn’t seem too bothered by his sudden rudeness and defensiveness. If anything, it made them look slightly happier, like him being rude to them was a sign that he was okay and that he wasn’t going to die anytime soon. Maybe it was.</p><p>“Ah, I- I don’t really know.”</p><p>Nightmares, then, if the haunted look in their eyes meant anything. They clearly were embarrassed about it, which was ridiculous considering it was the only kind of dreams that veterans like them ever had, but it must have been about him and the incident earlier that day if they were seeking comfort from his medical cot.</p><p>The two settled back into silence. Levi turned his eyes to Hanji, who was looking intensely down at their hands as if they were the most interesting things they had ever seen in their life and studied her with sharp and calculating eyes. They seemed slightly unsettled and uncomfortable, sitting in the chair beside his bed, as if they had been there for a while.</p><p>Levi pondered the question in his head, but ultimately decided to just come out and say it before he backed off and refused to ask them.</p><p>“C’mere.”</p><p>Levi spread his arms out and shuffled over in his bed, making room for Hanji to climb in. They studied the bed critically, as if it would jump up and try to attack them, and a slight blush rose to their cheeks. (Levi felt his own cheeks heat up in response, but no one needed to know that).</p><p>Hanji hesitantly stood up from their chair and shuffled closer to his bed, perching on the side, and peering at him. He made no effort to tell them to go away, so they climbed in and gently laid down, letting out a small squeak when he pulled them closer to him without warning.</p><p>He settled his head on top of theirs, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, his tense muscles relaxing suddenly as he gently combed his fingers through their mess of brown locks. Hanji felt their eyes flutter closed in response to the soothing movement and a sense of calm washed over them, erasing the nightmares that lingered in the corner of their mind. Levi was safe and alive, with his arms wrapped around them and his fingers brushing their hair.  </p><p>A few tears dripped down their face, the images of a broken and bloody body flashing in sudden bursts behind their eyes, but a feather-light touch to their cheeks wiped them away and eased Hanji’s thoughts once more.</p><p>“Go to sleep, Hanji. We’re safe.”</p><p>Yeah, they were safe. Hanji fell asleep warm and comfortable, having a dreamless sleep for the first time in many years. Even if one of them didn’t make it out of this war in the future, it would be moments like this in which they could remember. Moments like these, where Hanji could pretend that Levi loved them more than friends.</p><p> </p><p>He did.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! If you find any mistakes, let me know!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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